


Dear Jon. (Letters I have never sent)

by littlemissmoxley



Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, Heartbreak, Heartbreaking, Love Triangle, No Dialogue, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-25
Updated: 2016-11-25
Packaged: 2018-09-02 02:53:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8648920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlemissmoxley/pseuds/littlemissmoxley
Summary: A woman writes a letter to the one she loves.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was very difficult to write. This piece came from my heart, because I have lived it, but I needed a constructive way to let it all out, since I had no one to talk to.

Dear Jon, 

I am an absolute wreck and you have no idea.  
I smile to your face and act like everything is fine and forgiven, when in reality, it isn't. 

I've been your friend for two years now and in that short time I feel like we've been through so much already and we aren't even dating. 

I feel like everything is my fault, if I hadn't of told Renee, I feel like our lives would be very different to what they are now in the present. 

_I would be your girl._  
I try to be strong when facing you at work, because deep down I just know that I'm breaking. I try to be everything you want, but I am not her and I am never going to be.

I have so much resentment, because she **never** loved you and I do, she treated you with so much disrespect and still you went running back, multiple times, like the lap dog you are.

You make my blood boil and yet you fill my heart, just as much as you tear it. My heart is held together by a single thread.

You said that you were sorry and I accepted your apology, you told me that I was a close friend and that you'd never betray my trust again and I believed you, I still do.  
That doesn't change the fact that I have so much pent up aggression. You even told me that if **she** didn't exist that we would be together.

Now, I don't know whether I believe **that** or not.

I become so confused because one minute you're hot and the next you're cold. Yet I can't help but remain loyal to you. You're "my guy" without being "my guy".  
Sometimes Jon, I just wish I could tell you how much you mean to me and that you're my best friend. You're a crappy one, but you're my best friend, though I become scared of what you might say. 

I remember the day that I asked you if you'd ever be scared to lose me, I wasn't feeling my best and had been a bit down, you replied with "of course I would" you then proceeded to tell me "smile boofhead, I could never hate you". That sentence gave me some kind of hope. I think of it often and the time that you told me to smile for you, that was the day that I didn't feel good enough.  
I still have those thoughts of course I don't tell you that. 

I could never compare to your precious "bella", it irks me so much.  
Am I jealous? Of course I am, I'm not going to deny it, there's no point. 

I guess I'm holding onto the fact that maybe one day you might come to your senses and finally figure out exactly what it is that you want, because Jon, when you truly need someone to be there for you, I might not be. 

With love,  
The "boofhead" xoxo

**Author's Note:**

> I understand that the term "Bella" may not make any sense here, since Jon (Dean) would never call a girl that..(at least I don't think he would) but the person this is written about referred to his ex as "Bella", hence why it is included in this story.  
> Also, I do not believe that Jon would treat any woman this way, but I'm sure you'll understand why I couldn't name names.
> 
> You'll also have to forgive me, I wanted to write more, but I may or may not have started crying, so I had to abruptly finish it.


End file.
